Jordan and Aidan were so excited when we sent in our adoption application (Aug, 2007)
Many people have asked us why we picked Korea. It's a great question! When we started our journey (in June, 2007), we felt led to adopt a child from El Salvador for many reasons. Since that time, God has led us on a long and emotional journey which has allowed Jenni to travel and minister in orphanages in El Salvador and Guatemala. Throughout this process, our hearts have become broken for orphaned children all over the world. When we began to face the unending delays in El Salvador this summer, we started to become open to adopting a child from somewhere else in the world.
We began to seek counsel from our adoption agency and from close friends who have adopted. We began looking at the Philippines, Ethiopia, Haiti, China, Korea and local foster/adopt agencies. Over and over again, we were strongly encouraged to consider Korea. After speaking with the AIAA Korea Program Director a number of times, we started to sense that this was the right program for our family. Here are a number of things which attracted us to Korea:
(1) Minimal updates were needed for our home study
(2) We qualified for a girl because we only have boys in our family
(3) Babies are referred to adopting families at the age of 5 months old
(4) Korean babies are cared for in foster homes
(5) The wait time is VERY fast for international adoptions (other programs would have been a 2-3 year wait)
(6) It is very difficult to get accepted into the Korean Adoption Program and our family qualified
As we began to read and study about orphans in Korea, our hearts became more and more broken. Unwed mothers in Korea are culturally shamed. They are often rejected by their families and their children are shamed as well. Last month I read "I Wish For You a Beautiful Life" while travelling to Guatemala. This touching book is a collection of letters written by Korean birth mothers to their children. It gave me a deep insight into the difficult journeys they experience in relinquishing their children. Here is one quote from the book:
"Bearing a child outside of marriage brings shame to the birth mother, her child, and her immediate and extended families. The deep embarrassment that accompanies pregnancy and parenthood outside of wedlock is not just about immoral conduct but about disrupting traditional Confucian family bonds and a male-centered lineage. When a child has no legal father, a fact easily discerned from the all-important family register, both birth mother and child face social discrimination throughout their lives."
After reading this book, I realized that the Korean birth mothers are the true heroes. It is clear that these brave women are making tremendously difficult and painful decisions purely out of love for their children.
Here are two quotes from two different birth moms:
"My baby, you were born after eleven hours of labor, and you were the most adorable princess to me. How I wished to be with you until the end of my life. But I couldn't do that because I didn't want my princess to live with constant rudeness from others. Also, I couldn't provide a good home for you, and I didn't want to transfer my poverty to you. I wanted you to grow up full of love. My sweetheart, I went out today in a gloomy mood. I watched happy women along the streets holding their babies. I envied them and burst into tears from missing you so much."
"I decided that placing you for adoption was better for you than suffering from hunger and poverty with me. I thought you could be happy if you met wonderful parents through adoption. I do not regret my decision. I always pray that you will know God's love and be happy and wise. I pray that you will be spiritually happy, place others' well-being ahead of your own, thank and glorify the Lord, and share your love with your neighbors. Although there is nothing I can give you, I give to you all of my love."
Wow. I have gained a deep sense of awe and respect for these women and my heart aches for them. I continue to ask myself, "Why me? Why has God allowed our family the blessing and privilege of adoption? Why do I get to be this little girl's mommy?" I don't have all of the answers, but I do know that God works all things together for good. His plans are higher than ours and He can redeem even the most heinous of evils. He is a healer and for some reason, He has called our family to love, nurture and pour our lives into one of His precious little ones who will be born in Korea and raised in our hearts and home.
Why Korea? Because God has called us to do something way beyond ourselves. God has led us into a journey that is teaching us about His deep Father's love for each of us. His love is unconditional and never ending. Our family has loved this little girl for three and a half years before knowing her name, birthdate and even her birthplace. It is so strange to wonder if she has been born yet, where she is, who is caring for her... But we know that God's hand is covering her little life and we can't wait to meet her!
Mike's sister Katie and her daughter, AnnaGrace (born in China in 2006)
Amber Booy and her daughter Eleora (born in Ethiopia in 2010)
Building our dossier for El Salvador was a labor of love (Feb, 2008)
