MERRY CHRISTMAS 2011!

As we pack away our Thanksgiving decorations & prepare for the Christmas season, our hearts are filled with gratitude. Our family has experienced God’s goodness over & over again in the midst of the joys & challenges of the past year. 2011 was filled with miracles & trials. Laughter & tears. Travels & rest. This year we said good-bye to many dear friends who lost their battles with cancer, but are finally home. Their lives remind us that we are just passing through. One of our favorite verses recently has been, “The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble, He cares for those who trust in Him” (Nahum 1:7).

Jordan turned nine in March & started fourth grade this fall at Arroyo Elementary. It’s so thrilling to watch his inquisitive mind “come alive” as he loves to learn (& asks questions all day long)! He is passionate about reading & shocked our public library volunteers this summer when he completed his third twenty-hour reading chart in less than three weeks! He was recently elected to our school community service committee (“Ripple Kids”) & was thrilled to win his first election!


Aidan turned eight in June & is in third grade. He keeps us laughing all day long! He is incredibly expressive, animated & loves his new kitty (which he named Maui) & playing baseball.


He traveled with Mike & Jenni to El Salvador this summer & collected over 4,000 Silly Bandz (rubber bracelets) to give away in the orphanages. He loved serving in El Salvador & keeps begging to go back! Both boys were featured on the front cover of our local paper for their Silly Bandz project. We are so proud of them!


Jenni is blessed to volunteer in both of the boys’ classrooms. She also leads the Moms in Touch prayer group for our elementary school every week. She is honored to serve as the Outreach Director for All Blessings Intl. Adoptions & led two life-changing orphan outreach teams to El Salvador & Guatemala this year.


Jenni was blessed to attend The Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit in KY this May & oversees The So Cal Orphan Care Network. As most of you know, our adoption experience has caused us to become passionate about orphan care & advocacy. We were invited to speak on adoption/orphan care in our recent Orphan Sunday church service and invite you to listen to the message through the link posted below. Our adoption journey has been exciting, emotional, powerful & frustrating. We continue to wait for a referral of a baby girl from South Korea. Pray for our hearts as we ache for our daughter & for the millions of orphans in need of “forever families” around the world.

We are so grateful for our church family, The Village Church of Irvine (VCI) & are excited about the influence VCI has in our community & world. Mike is blessed to serve as an elder & graduated this June from a two-year biblical leadership-training course led by the VCI pastors.


We are honored to oversee the missions & orphan care ministries at VCI. We love partnering with amazing organizations & families that are impacting men, women & children suffering from HIV/AIDS, homelessness, poverty & the orphan crisis throughout the world with hope. Lives are being changed! We hosted many missionaries, friends & families in our home this year & our doors are always open! We love being a “global family” (as our license plate reads)!

Mike continues to work as a Line Producer producing infomercials for Script To Screen Productions in Santa Ana. He loves his staff & is grateful to be part of the production department. He also oversees our side business, Straight Street Production Services (production rentals). Most of the time, he can be found riding bikes or working on elaborate school projects with the boys, cooking a gourmet meal for family or friends or enjoying our beautiful yard.

We were blessed to travel on many trips this year. Jenni enjoyed her annual college girls’ reunion in Carmel - always a highlight of her year! We visited Jenni’s dad’s ranch (north of San Luis Obispo) this spring & adopted our newest pet, Maui (who was just 3 weeks old)!


We were blessed to spend time in Palm Desert with Jenni’s mom & also spent a week at a dessert time-share this August (thanks to good friends!).


Mike & the boys drove to Reno this summer to pick up Mike’s dad & drive him back to our home for an extended visit (an annual tradition).


We also helped Mike’s mom to relocate to OR this fall & got to know the 5 FWY well! We enjoyed the breathtaking drive & loved visiting with Mike’s sisters & family.


We celebrated our 17th anniv in November in a quiet house (thanks to Grandma!) before Jenni flew off to Guatemala (her sixth overseas trip in two years!). Thanksgiving may be behind us, but our hearts are overflowing with gratitude. We are constantly amazed at God’s faithfulness in the midst of every circumstance. We are grateful for each of you as we celebrate the birth of a precious baby boy, who was born in a manger, adopted by his family & changed the world forever!

Captivated in Guatemala (with reflections on our adoption journey)...

Last week I (Jenni) had the privilege of leading a team of nine volunteers to serve in the beautiful country of Guatemala. As our team ascended into the air towards Guatemala City on American Airlines, I opened my journal and reflected on the faithfulness of God. My adoption journal has captured the incredible journey that began in June, 2007. At that time, we believed that God had called us to adopt our next child. We were excited about our adoption journey and were completely unaware of the adventure and calling that lay ahead.


Mailing our adoption documents for El Salvador (January, 2008). Our adoption in El Salvador eventually failed and we lost over $15,000.

As I look back over the past four and a half years, I am simply amazed at all that God has done. We believed that our adoption adventure would consist of opening our home to a child, but this journey has radically opened our hearts to orphans all over the world. The Lord has birthed an indescribable passion and calling in our lives for adoption and orphan advocacy. He has opened doors and created opportunities that have been life changing! Our adoption story has been filled with heartache, deception, shock, tears and confusion. However, it has also been filled with miracles, divine appointments, new friendships and opportunities to speak, write and lead teams to journey directly into God's heart for orphans.

As I flipped through the journal pages and was reminded of the emotions, miracles and adventures of the past four and a half years, I was in awe. I realized (to my surprise) that this trip to Guatemala had been scheduled exactly two years after my first orphan outreach trip to El Salvador. During that trip I fell in love with the El Salvadorian children, but became aware of heart wrenching issues related to orphans as well as unethical practices in adoptions. It was also on that trip that I was introduced to my dear friend Lucy Armistead, who later invited me to join the staff of All Blessings Intl. Adoptions as their International Outreach Coordinator.


My first trip to El Salvador... falling in love with the children! Little Carolina completely captured my heart!

I have now had the privilege of leading six orphan outreach teams (in two years) - four to El Salvador and two to Guatemala. These teams have had the opportunity to bring gifts, touch, love and hope to hundreds of orphans. It has truly been an honor to serve in six orphanages and to touch the indelible faces of abandoned and abused children. I have fallen in love over and over again and my heart has been broken for the things that break the heart of God.

While our family continues to wait for the referral of a baby girl from Asia, the Lord is quickening our hearts for His orphans. It has been so exciting to birth "Sprouts," an orphan care ministry in our home church. We currently have seven families in our church who are either in the process or are considering adoption or foster care. Wow! Mike and I have been humbled to speak on adoption/orphan care in our church and helped to organize a blood drive to raise funds for our church adoption fund last year.


Speaking in a panel on adoption/orphan care at The Village Church of Irvine and volunteering with Show Hope.

It has been a thrill to form The So Cal Orphan Care Network in the past year. Our network currently has over fifty leaders connected to our group. I have been blessed to represent All Blessings Intl. Adoptions at various venues and attended The Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit in KY this spring. It has been an unbelievable journey and our hearts are overflowing with gratitude. We are especially grateful that both of our boys been able to serve in El Salvador and have gained hearts for orphans as well. As I journaled, prayed and prepared to lead this team to serve "the least of these" in Guatemala, I was reminded of the faithful hand of God. He promises to lead and guide His children if we trust Him with all of our hearts. He has been faithful to our family and has kept His promises in our lives.


The boys loved serving in El Salvador (Aidan in July, 2011 and Jordan in March, 2010).

The trip to Guatemala this past week was so impactful that it is difficult to describe in words. The Guatemalan people captivated us with their joyful spirits and grateful hearts, despite their poverty levels and heart wrenching experiences of extreme tragedies. It has been said over and over again by our team members, but it must be repeated. We traveled to Guatemala to "bless the people," but they blessed us beyond belief. Their faces will remain in our hearts forever. Their words of gratitude, expressed through tears, are like hidden treasures in our minds. The precious children in the orphanage touched us deeply. Their stories broke our hearts and caused many team members to weep, but their joy, laughter and hugs healed us.

As I reflect on the past six orphan outreach teams, it is clear that each team has left an imprint on my heart. However, this team was especially unique. This trip was extremely emotional due to many personal losses in the lives of our team members. While we spent many team meetings laughing and joking together, there were also many tears. At times, our team members were able to relate to some of the painful losses of the Guatemalan people, and that was priceless. I watched this team come together in a deep and powerful way to support one another, pray for one another and even carry me through some very emotional moments.

As we ascended back into the air and headed towards home, I realized that I had been captivated. Captivated by the passionate expressions of love and gratitude that our team experienced through the Guatemalan people. But I had also been captivated by God's love and faithfulness in my life, clearly seen through my journal reflections as well as His sovereignly hand-picked team, who selflessly served the Guatemalan people and will remain forever in my heart.


To read stories and view photos from our trip, visit our orphan outreach blog at:
www.allblessingswest.blogspot.com

Link to Mike & Jenni's Adoption Messages

On November 6th, 2011, our church was honored to partner with hundreds of churches around the world in celebrating "Orphan Sunday." Mike and I were humbled to speak on "Caring for Orphans" with a panel (which included three members from our missions board). Please click on the link below to hear the forty minute message. Note: Mike gives a brief introduction, Glynn Smith (founder of Beacon of Hope Ministries, South Africa) speaks on the issue of AIDS/HIV and orphans, and Jenni addresses practical ways to serve orphans at the end.

http://www.villagechurchirvine.com/sermons/sermon/missions-sunday---orphan-sunday


Mike also preached a sermon on "God's Heart for Adoption" in February, 2011. It was a powerful message, which included some personal thoughts on our adoption journey. To listen to his message, click here:

http://www.villagechurchirvine.com/sermons/sermon/adopted-in-christ

Our first adoption grant!!!

This week we received a $2,000 adoption grant from Show Hope! We are humbled, grateful and incredibly blessed!

The vision of Show Hope is to enable individuals and communities to change the world for orphans by not only addressing a child’s need for food, shelter, care, and spiritual nourishment, but by also addressing the root issue for an orphan: the lack of a family. Show Hope was founded by Mary Beth and Steven Curtis Chapman. Their music as well as their family's adoption journey has had a profound influence on our lives.


Four years ago (when we started our adoption journey) I volunteered at a Steven Curtis Chapman concert and helped to collect funds for Show Hope adoption grants. Steven invited an adopting family onto the stage during the concert, and blessed them with the funds that were raised that night. It was a powerful experience that I will never forget. I am so grateful that our family is now another recipient of their heart and passion for orphans.

THANK YOU SHOW HOPE FOR SUPPORTING OUR FAMILY!!!

Life Lessons from Legos

This summer the boys attended one of their favorite camps: Lego Camp!!! The camp is hosted by a group of friends from our school. Picture sixteen boys sitting quietly building Lego bricks... they love it! Of course they also have snacks, swimming and hold "serious" Lego competitions.

Over the last few years we have learned some difficult but essential lessons about money. Our family is debt free and we plan to stay that way! We constantly talk with the boys about being "wise with our money." So when Lego Camp came along, we did not plan to buy new Lego sets for the boys. By the third day of camp, I realized that all of the other kids were bringing new Lego sets to build. Our boys asked (yes, and even whined!) a few times for new sets to build, but I continually said no. They each had huge boxes of Legos and plenty of bricks to build! As I stepped into my car after kissing the boys good bye, it hit me. I was going to buy them Legos. Why? Not because they had earned them or even deserved them. Simply because I loved them... and wanted to bless and surprise them!

I called Mike to get his thoughts. He had just gotten an unexpected check at work. Yippee!!! We met at Toys R Us and had so much fun picking out their Legos! They had no idea that we were shopping while they were at camp... As I stepped back into my car with Lego sets in the trunk, my heart lept with excitement! I couldn't drive back to the camp fast enough! I love our boys passionately and was so excited to bless them! When I showed up at the house, the boys were surprised to see me. I told them that I wanted to talk with them outside. Then I shared how much their dad and I love them and how we LOVE to bless them... simple because of our love for them. I opened the car and showed them their brand new Lego sets. They were ecstatic! They screamed and thanked us over and over again. What a memory!


As I pulled away that day, I heard the small whisper of God's voice in my mind. "This is exactly how I feel about you. You have no idea how I am working and preparing tremendous blessings in your life. I choose to bless you simply because I love you. Because you are my daughter." Wow! What a profound life lesson! So many times I question God's timing and plans, when all along His plans are perfect. This summer I have struggled with the timing of our adoption, and God reminded me that He has been working all things together for good. What a wonderful life lesson from a box of Legos!

Jenni's Response to the El Salvador Article Printed in The OC Register

We are grateful to The OC Register for printing a story about Aidan's Silly Bandz outreach project. The article was titled "North Tustin brothers would rather give than receive."

To read the article, click here:

http://www.ocregister.com/news/salvador-309547-aidan-jenni.html

The original article (printed on July 23rd, 2011) contained a number of errors. We are grateful for the immediate response of the OC Register staff, who corrected the errors. The article will be reprinted in The Tustin News this week. I have included some additional information below which was not printed in the article:

(1) Our background in outreach/humanitarian aide. Mike and I have been honored to serve overseas in relief, development and outreach for over twenty years. Together we have served in over sixty countries. I am blessed to serve as the Missions Director at The Village Church of Irvine. Mike serves as the Elders of Missions at The Village Church and we have both lead many international outreach teams all over the world. Mike first visited El Salvador in 2006 to participate in an orphanage dedication and my work in El Salvador began in 2009.

(2) Our Adoption Journey. The writer did not include detailed information about our adoption. He only mentioned that our orphan outreach trips started through our desire to adopt in El Salvador. Unfortunately, we withdrew from the El Salvador adoption program last year after experiencing ongoing delays and corruption in our case. It was a heart breaking and devastating decision to withdraw from the program after waiting for over three years. We lost $15,000 when we withdrew from El Salvador and had to begin the process of adoption all over again. Last fall we were accepted to adopt from South Korea, and our family is anxiously waiting to be matched with a baby girl. We are currently raising funds for our adoption in Korea.

While we originally hoped to adopt in El Salvador, we believe that our orphan work in this country was part of our destiny. Our "eyes were opened" to the tremendous needs of El Salvador's orphans through our adoption journey. We are deeply passionate about adoption, which is why I work for an international adoption agency. We strongly believe that adoption or family reunification is the best outcome for every child, and that no child should grow up in an orphanage. Every child deserves a "forever family." We are honored to partner with two Christian ministries in El Salvador, which passionately care for the interests of orphaned children. The families that we serve under truly work "on the front lines of the battlefield in El Salvador" and we are priviledged to bring "relief and support" as we serve them through our trips.

Giving Away Our Shoes...

I have included two of the blog posts written on our orphan outreach blog during our recent El Salvador trip. To read through all of the blog posts, click onto:

www.allblessingswest.blogspot.com

Last night we arrived at The Calvary Chapel property, "Potter's Field." Potter's Field is a beautiful, lush and tropical "refuge," a sharp contrast from the shantytown located right outside the large green doors and concrete walls. This ministry was birthed by Dave Eason's (one of our team members) grandparents in 1968 and their family has a tremendous legacy in this place. Dave's father, Dave Eason Senior, is serving alongside our team and he has been a tremendous blessing. We have settled in here for the remaining last three days of the trip. This afternoon we will be serving a children's neighborhood outreach in a poor village about 1 1/2 hours away. We are bringing arts and crafts, pinatas, silly bands and hearts ready to serve.

Yesterday was our last day serving at CIPI, the government center. We brought the kids pinatas and took time visiting each group area to say our tearful good byes. It was also a blessing to bring shoes to most of the children, who laughed, screamed and loved picking their "perfect pair" of shoes. When we opened the bags of shoes in the teenage girls' area, we realized in grave disappointment that we did not have enough shoes for these girls. We had one bag filled with clothes, and some of the girls chose clothing instead of shoes. However, a few girls remained with empty looks, wondering if they would receive any shoes. Then something supernatural happened. We had recorded their shoe sizes, and realized that some of our team members were the exact same size. Amanda, Kendall, Jacque and I were honored to give up our shoes to bless these precious girls, who literally own nothing. Amanda later shared that her shoes were recently purchased (Nike running shoes), but God clearly spoke to her to give them away.


It's one thing to give away shoes that have been donated, but another to gladly take the shoes off your feet and walk away shoeless. I am so proud of this team and the way in which they selflessly give and serve. One of the highlights of the trip for me has been watching God powerfully transform the team members' lives. God is constantly reminding me that these trips are part of the "fruit" of our failed adoption. It is incredible. While our dream of adopting in El Salvador has been lost, we are honored to continue to serve His orphans through leading these teams. And He has not forgotten us. He has led us to wait and trust Him as one day we will finally hold and carry home our little Korean princess.

Finding God in the Midst of Suffering

This blog post was written in El Salvador on our orphan outreach blog. To read all of the team blog posts, go to:

www.allblessingswest.blogspot.com

This week our team has encountered stories of poverty, abuse, incest, unwanted pregnancies, abandonment, addictions and other atrocities in the faces of children too heart breaking to post on this blog. For most Americans, these issues pose the question, “Where is God in the midst of suffering?” I do not presume to have all of the answers to the deep things of God. But I do know this. In the past seven days God has been right here in our midst.


Our team has been reading through David Platt’s book, “Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From the American Dream.” In chapter seven, David Platt submits that God’s people are the answer to the pain and suffering in the world today. He says that Christ’s followers “are the plan of God, and there is no plan B.” As I was reading through this chapter on the flight to El Salvador, God gave me a name for our team, “The Plan A Team.” It has been overwhelming and humbling to realize that we have truly been “God’s Plan A” for the people of El Salvador this week.


I saw the perfect plan of God as I watched my eight-year old son hold, feed and hug abandoned babies. I saw the gracious plan of God in a homeless man’s smile as he shouted “gracias!” and grabbed a bag of food from our truck. I saw God’s plan as my friend Tanya listened to and counseled a teenage mom. Later she cut her hair, and struggled to let her go in an unforgettable good-bye embrace.


I saw the plan of God as the men on our team worked tirelessly in life-squelching heat building a home for elderly men and women who have been forgotten. I saw God’s sacrificial plan as my friend Carin removed the shoes from her feet and handed them to a construction worker in desperate need of shoes. The stories of God’s plans being accomplished through our team are endless. It has been a privilege to be His plan of mercy, compassion and relief to “the least of these.”


We’ve spent a lot of time this week reflecting on God’s plans for our lives as “The Plan A Team.” Proverbs 19:21 says that “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Psalm 33:11 tells us that “The plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purpose of His heart through all generations.” And Psalm 40:4-5 says “Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you, were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.”


Our world is broken. No doubt about it. This week we have been reminded that God is a Redeemer, and He can heal anything that has been broken. Anything. By His grace, He has chosen to use us in bringing hope and joy to El Salvador this week. As we return home, we have a heightened awareness of the fact that we are His plan for the hurting world around us. As one of the team leaders, my heart and prayer is that each team member will return home remembering that they are God’s Plan A to reach the suffering souls surrounding them. And Lord willing, many of us will return to serve His people in El Salvador one day soon.

Headed to El Salvador!

Tomorrow we will be leading a team of 16 volunteers from our church to serve in two orphanages in El Salvador. We love our team!!! God has clearly called each team member to serve in a unique way. Half of the team members are eighteen years old or younger and we can't wait to see how God works in their lives. Aidan is the youngest team member, he just turned eight last month! God has already been doing so much in our team as we've met together and prepared our hearts to serve "the least of these." We've also collected shoes, clothing, soccer balls and supplies, arts and crafts and 4,334 silly bands!










Aidan packing his silly bands

Follow our All Blessings trips blog this week! We will be posting daily updates and photos as we serve His orphans and the homeless community of San Salvador!

www.allblessingswest.blogspot.com

Godly Wisdom as We Wait

I have been deeply blessed by a little devotional called Jesus Calling (by Sarah Young) recently. I was reading this devotional the other day, and God spoke directly to my heart as we trust in Him on our adoption journey. I hope that these words encourage you as well:

"Rest with me a while. You have journeyed up a steep, rugged path in recent days. The way ahead is shrouded in uncertainty. Look neither behind you nor before you. Instead, focus your attention on Me, your constant Companion. Trust that I will equip you fully for whatever awaits you on the journey.

I designed time to be a protection for you. You couldn't bear to see all your life at once. Though I am unlimited by time, it is in the present moment that I meet you. Refresh yourself in My company, breathing deep draughts on My Presence. The highest level of trust is to enjoy Me moment by moment. I am with you, watching over wherever you go." - Jesus Calling, page 168

There are no updates regarding the quota situation in Korea. As we continue to wait for the referral of our little girl, we advocate passionately for orphan care. Next week we are honored to lead a team of sixteen volunteers to serve orphans in El Salvador. We are especially excited to see God move in Aidan's heart as he gives away silly bands and loves on the kids in the orphanages. Stay tuned for more!

Tremendous Encouragement From Friends in a Time of Sorrow...

We are so grateful to God for so many things. There is not enough room on this blog to write about God's goodness and faithfulness in our lives. While the circumstances of life can be deeply painful and confusing, God is always with us. In the past week we have talked, grieved and cried over the recent changes in Korea. In some ways the difficult news felt like a miscarriage, or the loss of a dream. However, God has been speaking to us over and over again about trusting His timing and His perfect plan. This week I have been reminded of our infertility journey and of the supernatural way in which God led us to adopt! I have received so many encouraging words, phone calls and emails. Thank you SO MUCH for carrying us and for supporting us through the UPS and DOWNS of our adoption journey!

A few days ago I received a very moving email from our close missionary friend in El Salvador, Kathy Knepper. Kathy had been praying for us early that morning, and had no idea about the recent changes in the Korean adoption program. God simply put us on her heart and she was praying fervently for us. She felt led to send an email to us sharing her thoughts that day. When she returned home, she saw the news of the quota on Facebook. Here is part of her email:

"Jenni and Mike, the Lord knows who your daughter is. She has been created knowing that you are going to be her mom and dad. She has been made to fill your heart with joy and burdens (you can't have one without the other). He knows when she will come. Though you are ready for her, she might not be ready for you. I want you to know that I was told by the Lord to write this to you BEFORE I read your post, as I was driving at 4:30 am in the morning, on the way to the airport.

Many wrongs have and will be done, and some will never recognize it. Yet you will still get the supreme joy of doing that which the Lord called you to do faithfully... adoption. It may not go on the record books, but it will forever change the life of a precious Korean princess, who has been made just for you. I love you, Kathy"


David and Kathy Knepper and their beautiful kids!

We are so grateful that God has been speaking to our hearts, and He is also speaking to you. He cares about the details of our lives and He truly does cause all things to work together for good. For now, we continue to wait and put our trust in Him!

Insights on the Korean Quota Issue

Last week I joined the Yahoo Korean Adoption Group after hearing about the quota in Korea. I felt like I needed to be more connected with families who share our journey into Korea. In the last week I have received many helpful and encouraging emails from fellow adoption sojourners and am blessed to be part of the group. Last night I spent a couple of hours reading through other family adoption blogs. It's insightful and encouraging to see how other families are procesing their adoption experiences amidst the quotas. Two families had some great posts on their reactions to the Korean quota issue. If you'd like to read more about the quota, please check out these blog posts:

www.heartontheline.com/2011/05/my-adoption-rant.html

minus1project.blogspot.com/2011/05/joining-army.html

Devastating News From Korea

Over the last four years we have compared our adoption journey to a roller coaster ride. There are thrilling ups and huge drops that cause the passengers to scream at the top of their lungs! Last week we experienced a big, screaming drop. Actually, it was more like a crash in our hearts. We received a letter from our adoption agency notifying us that the agency they partner with in Korea (Social Welfare Services) had "reached its' quota" for referrals for 2011. This had never happened before and the adoption community is shocked. What exactly does this mean?

Korea is trying to reduce their international adoption referrals in an effort to increase domestic adoptions. Sadly, adoption has not been culturally accepted in Korea, so most orphaned children have been relinquished internationally for the past forty years. While we respect Korea's desire to promote domestic adoption, our hearts break for the children and families who are "stuck in the system." There are many ramifications to the quota situation, and I won't divulge all of our opinions here. Needless to say, there is a lot of speculation about how and why Korea is making these decisions. There is also a lot of uncertainty.

What does this mean for our family? We will most likely not be receiving a referral of a child until 2012. The entire system in Korea is changing, so our agency is unable to give us answers at this time. One of the reasons that we picked Korea last fall was because (at that time) it was a very efficient and fast program. The children also receive exceptional medical and foster care in Korea. Since we joined the program, Korea has announced two significant delays and changes in their international adoption policies. This month marks our fourth year in our adoption journey, so this news comes at a difficult time. However, we know that God is not surprised and He is with us every step of the way.

We find ourselves seeking God's direction again, grieving over the changes and crying out for orphans in Korea and around the world. We have felt deeply supported these past few days as we have shared this news and appreciate all of your prayers and encouragement. We'll continue to post updates as we receive them. There is so much uncertainty but one thing is absolutely certain. God is always good. He is in control. And He will never leave us or forsake us. We know that He will guide us as we continue to wait to hold our daughter in our arms one day.

2,034 Silly Bands!

Last week Aidan collected all of the silly band containers that he had distributed in each school class. His goal was to collect 1,000 silly bands from his schoolmates to take to El Salvador. He received 2,034! Way to go Arroyo Elementary School! We are so grateful for your support! We can't wait to see the kids' faces light up in El Salvador when they receive these gifts!

Aidan is still collecting silly bands at our church until we leave for El Salvador on July 9th. Let us know if you'd like to donate!

A Song About Our Adoption on Youtube!

Yesterday my friend from YWAM (Youth With a Mission), Rollyn Bornhorst, read my post on grieving. Rollyn was part of my Discipleship Training School in Kona, HI, and we served together on an outreach trip in Costa Rica. Rollyn is extremely gifted musically. She kept our team laughing in Costa Rica with her creative songs (and I think of her every time I see a mango!). Rollyn currently sings and plays guitar with a band named Maeve.

Rollyn was so moved by my post that she wrote a song. A few hours after writing my post, I received an email from Rollyn with the lyrics and link to Youtube. I was nearly speechless. As many of you know, I love music. I have written a few songs in my life and God often speaks to me through music. Yesterday he spoke to me in a powerful way through Rollyn's song. I was moved beyond belief. Thank you Rollyn for taking the emotions expressed in my blog and putting them to music. It is truly one of the greatest gifts that I have ever received. One day I will play it for our little girl and remind her how deeply she was loved and yearned for before she was even born...

Here are the lyrics:

Baby born without a home
Many many miles from here
When I think of her all alone
I shed these deep longing tears

We've been waiting for so long
To call this little girl our own
Our love for her is true and strong
Oh how we long to bring her home

Wrap your arms around her Lord
Until I can hold her in my own
Wrap your arms around her Lord
Let her know that she's never alone

Grief washes over me
Who is holding her now
Time lost is what I seek
I will get through this somehow

My head held deep in my hands
I hear the Lord speak, I hear the Lord speak
Daughter I understand
In my arms I will keep, in my arms you can weep
In my arms she will sleep

Click here to listen to the song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptOo6ILqb7c

Deep Grief

Last weekend I attended our annual church women's retreat. If was unquestionably one of the best retreats that I have ever been a part of! It was an intense and emotional weekend. God worked powerfully in many of our hearts. I had no idea what God had planned for me, but as always, His timing was perfect.

My close friend, Kristin Sellars, attended the retreat with her ten-day old baby girl, Madeline. Kristin and I have often talked about the fact that our girls may be close in age (and will hopefully be close friends). Our sense is that our daughter's birthday will most likely be in April or May of this year. Every time I saw precious baby Madeline at the retreat, I wanted to hold her. But something held me back.

On Saturday evening the women gathered for a time of worship, sharing and prayer. The tissue was placed in the center of the room and we all knew that it was time to "get real" with one another and with God. I looked over at baby Madeline and suddenly realized why I had been unable to hold her. It's very possible that someone else is holding our newborn daughter right now. She may be the same age and size as Madeline. And we are missing her early days. I have always known this, but somehow it became gravely real as I gazed upon a newborn baby girl. And I began to weep. Profoundly. I was unable to stop crying for quite some time. It was time to grieve.

As I held my head in my hands, the worship leader began to play one of my favorite songs, "He Knows My Name." This song has greatly impacted me over the years. It was inspired after the song writer spent time in an orphanage in The Philippines. The song writer encountered an orphaned boy who desperately wanted to be known and wrote this song. As I listened to the song, God sweetly whispered truth to my heart. "I know her name. I am caring for her. I love her more than you can imagine. She is going to be ok." They were sweet words spoken aptly to a desperate and grieving mother.

When I was finally able to pick myself up out of my chair, I shared my emotions with my friends. I moved to a chair in the middle of the room, and was instantly surrounded by women who were grieving with me in prayer. Some were weeping. They cried out to God for His protection over our daughter. For financial provision. For His hand of grace to be over the entire adoption process. They interceded in my deep moment of grief when I was unable to speak. The grief and loss were suddenly replaced with peace, hope and anticipation. My sisters reminded me that God is watching over our daughter during our separation. I can not describe the level of support, encouragement and empathy that I felt in the darkness of the room. It was profound. It was deep. And it was real.

I often become emotional when I think of the incredible support that we have received from our church in our adoption journey. I can't imagine what it will be like when we finally carry our baby through the doors of her church. She will have a huge "cloud of witnesses" ready to welcome and embrace her. I'm so grateful that I was able to process my grief in the safety of the retreat. And by God's grace, later that evening I was able to hold baby Madeline (when Kristin needed prayer). As I held her closely in my arms, I whispered in her ear and told her about her new friend in Korea who is coming home soon.

My Crazy Orphan Summit Travel Schedule Parallels Our Adoption...

My trip to Kentucky was one crazy adventure! I have traveled to sixteen countries and without a doubt, this was the most challenging travel schedule in all of my life! Where should I begin...

While in route to Dallas on American Airlines, we were told that the Dallas Fort Worth Airport had been closed due to weather. Our plane was forced to land at a small airport in Abilene, TX. We were grounded for over two hours and the passengers could not get off the plane. The looming storm was haunting and tensions were high. The pilot brought joy to the all of the passengers when he announced that he had ordered Dominos Pizza for everyone! We each enjoyed a slice of pizza and tried to make light of the moment.




I spent a lot of time on my flights journaling, reading my Bible and praying. I also had many opportunities to speak with fellow passengers, and asked God to place me exactly where He wanted me on each flight. I had many "divine appointments" along the journey, which made it all the more interesting! I look forward to following up with some of these relationships and seeing what God will do!

After passing more than two hours on the Abeline Airport tarmac, we were finally told that the Dallas Airport had opened. Our plane ascended back into the air. As we approached Dallas, the pilot announced that the airport had been closed again due to the storm. We hovered over Dallas for quite some time. When we finall prepared to land, tensions were high again. We experienced horrible turbulence and I read Psalm 91 aloud over and over again. It was a great comfort to know that our plane and our lives were not in the hand of the pilot or of the storm, but in the hands of our Mighty God!

All of the passengers were relieved to step into the Dallas Airport, but I quickly learned that all flights to Louisville had been cancelled. Yikes! The Summit started at 7 a.m. the following morning. I was able to get booked onto a flight into Lexington, KY, which was delayed over eight times throughout the course of the evening. Needless to say, I was exhausted when I boarded that plane. When we finally departed (at 1 a.m.) on our tiny commuter plane, I discovered that a few other passengers were headed to The Summit as well. I scrambled, made some calls, and was able to find a hotel room. I ended up renting a car with another Summit attendee (for the outrageous price of $160). We became fast friends and kept ourselves awake at 4 a.m. as we drove along the dark and lonely highway into Louisville.

I checked into my hotel room on the morning of The Summit at 4:30 a.m. The lady behind the hotel desk was very kind, and gave me a discounted rate (since I only needed the room for 5 hours). I was so happy to see Lucy later that morning, but I was exhausted.

On the day of my return home, I had a wonderful nights' sleep. I was amazed by how rested I felt, and then I looked at the clock in disbelief. The hotel staff had forgotten my wake up call, and I had missed my plane. While frustrated, I reminded myself that God was in control, nothing happens in His kingdom "by mistake." The hotel apologized emphatically, gave me a discounted rate and helped to connect me with American Airlines. I was re-booked on a flight six hours later, and went back to my room for some more rest. When I came back down to the lobby later that day, I encountered another "divine appointment" and ran into a friend from the So Cal Orphan Care Network who had attended The Summit. She gave me a ride to the airport and we enjoyed getting to know one another. I also ran into another friend from Orange County on my flights back, and continued to thank God for His hand on every leg of my flight.

My crazy travel schedule was the perfect reflection of our incredibly bumpy and often confusing adoption journey. Yes, our adoption has been filled with many disappointments and a lot of turbulence. However, we have also encountered many "divine appointments" and God has been with us every step of the way. He is fully in control and He will never leave us or forsake us!

Reflections on the Orphan Summit

My experience at The Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit was indescribable. How can I explain the emotions that I felt while gathered with 1500 other believers who are passionately called to impact the orphan crisis? Unreal. Unifying. Refreshing to my soul. Sobering. Confirming.

Highlights??? Hard to pick a few... but I'll give it my best:

"Becoming a Multicultural Family"

This was one of my favorite breakout sessions. It was led by a panel of adult adoptees who were all raised in multiracial families. Two of the panelists were born in South Korea. The room was packed. Emotions were high and there was a peaceful mix of laughter and tears throughout the session (which continued well past the scheduled end time). I deeply appreciated the insights, honesty and vulnerability of the panelists. The two things that I came away with were this:

(1) It is vital that we help our Korean born daughter to explore and connect with her birth country. I am so grateful that we live in a multicultural community where she will have many Asian friends. We will work hard to expose her to Korean food and culture and will hopefully take her to visit Korea one day when she is ready.

(2) The "language of adoption" should be the culture of our family. There should be no shame in adoption, and we should embrace and talk about the beauty of adoption regularly. All three panelists were raised in homes where adoption was never talked about. I'm grateful that our boys are already passionate about adoption, and we will not hide any information from our daughter (based on age appropriateness) regarding her history or birthfamily.

While it was an emotional session, it was also deeply encouraging to hear the laughter, joy and gratefulness of all three panelists. They each talked about how their own adoption journies have painted an awesome picture of God's adoption into His family in their lives. One of the panelists who was born in S. Korea recently adopted two children from S. Korea. We were able to connect after the session. She is a beautiful young woman and I look forward to connecting with her more in the future.

"Raising Children with A Heart for Orphans"

I loved this session. This mom of eight had some wonderful, practical ideas on empowering our children and helping them to be passionate for the nations. I loved learning how her family has a daily "circle time" where they pray for children around the world, read missionary hero stories and even practice public speaking for orphan issues. I came home with a renewed excitement to train our boys to know God deeply, to have big hearts for the world and to desire to serve others. I am so proud of our boys and I love the ways that they selflessly serve and bless others.

"International Adoption: Challenges, Changes and Difficult Questions."


This session was informative, motivating and intense. The three panelists included Kathleen Strottman (Congressional Coalition on Adoption), Chuck Johnson (National Council for Adoption) and Tom Difilipo (Joint Council on Adoption). These panelists addressed the major barriers that influence international adoption today: nationalism, the lack of a common data system for orphans, the need for united US leadership and apathy in the US towards public policy. They challenged us to know our congressmen and women and to become involved in public policy.

The panelists addressed the history of the Hague international adoption laws and how the laws impact adoptions. They also presented specific information on adoption issues in various countries. I appreciated their honesty and willingess to challenge us to action. It warmed my heart to learn that all three panelists are Christians who strongly believe in the universal movement coming out of the Church to care for orphans. I loved their hearts and will be praying for their ongoing leadership and influence over our nation and world. I could have listened to this panel for hours.

That evening I was blessed to have dinner with Tom Difilipo and my close friend Lucy, the founder of All Blessings. I was able to share our painful El Salvador adoption journey with him. I deeply enjoyed his insights on various countries, his perspective on international adoption issues as well as issues in the American Church. I was also encouraged by his sincere affirmation of our adoption agency and the S. Korea program. He felt that our referral would most likely come faster than the time frame estimated by our agency, which was the best news that I heard at The Summit!

Lucy Armistead, Sheila Estep & Jenni - I met Lucy and Sheila on my first trip to El Salvador!

I am so grateful that All Blessings Intl. Adoptions made this trip possible for me! Thank you to Lucy for flying me to KY. I am honored to serve on the staff of All Blessings. I also loved sharing my adoption journey over and over again with the new friends that I made at The Summit and hearing their stories as well. Next year The Summit will be held from May 2-3 at Saddleback Church - just 15 miles down the road! Clearly this will be a much easier travel schedule (my trip to KY was brutal - see post!). Lord willing, if our daughter is home from Korea by that time, I'll be able to bring her to The Summit and introduce her to some of my new friends!