2,034 Silly Bands!

Last week Aidan collected all of the silly band containers that he had distributed in each school class. His goal was to collect 1,000 silly bands from his schoolmates to take to El Salvador. He received 2,034! Way to go Arroyo Elementary School! We are so grateful for your support! We can't wait to see the kids' faces light up in El Salvador when they receive these gifts!

Aidan is still collecting silly bands at our church until we leave for El Salvador on July 9th. Let us know if you'd like to donate!

A Song About Our Adoption on Youtube!

Yesterday my friend from YWAM (Youth With a Mission), Rollyn Bornhorst, read my post on grieving. Rollyn was part of my Discipleship Training School in Kona, HI, and we served together on an outreach trip in Costa Rica. Rollyn is extremely gifted musically. She kept our team laughing in Costa Rica with her creative songs (and I think of her every time I see a mango!). Rollyn currently sings and plays guitar with a band named Maeve.

Rollyn was so moved by my post that she wrote a song. A few hours after writing my post, I received an email from Rollyn with the lyrics and link to Youtube. I was nearly speechless. As many of you know, I love music. I have written a few songs in my life and God often speaks to me through music. Yesterday he spoke to me in a powerful way through Rollyn's song. I was moved beyond belief. Thank you Rollyn for taking the emotions expressed in my blog and putting them to music. It is truly one of the greatest gifts that I have ever received. One day I will play it for our little girl and remind her how deeply she was loved and yearned for before she was even born...

Here are the lyrics:

Baby born without a home
Many many miles from here
When I think of her all alone
I shed these deep longing tears

We've been waiting for so long
To call this little girl our own
Our love for her is true and strong
Oh how we long to bring her home

Wrap your arms around her Lord
Until I can hold her in my own
Wrap your arms around her Lord
Let her know that she's never alone

Grief washes over me
Who is holding her now
Time lost is what I seek
I will get through this somehow

My head held deep in my hands
I hear the Lord speak, I hear the Lord speak
Daughter I understand
In my arms I will keep, in my arms you can weep
In my arms she will sleep

Click here to listen to the song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptOo6ILqb7c

Deep Grief

Last weekend I attended our annual church women's retreat. If was unquestionably one of the best retreats that I have ever been a part of! It was an intense and emotional weekend. God worked powerfully in many of our hearts. I had no idea what God had planned for me, but as always, His timing was perfect.

My close friend, Kristin Sellars, attended the retreat with her ten-day old baby girl, Madeline. Kristin and I have often talked about the fact that our girls may be close in age (and will hopefully be close friends). Our sense is that our daughter's birthday will most likely be in April or May of this year. Every time I saw precious baby Madeline at the retreat, I wanted to hold her. But something held me back.

On Saturday evening the women gathered for a time of worship, sharing and prayer. The tissue was placed in the center of the room and we all knew that it was time to "get real" with one another and with God. I looked over at baby Madeline and suddenly realized why I had been unable to hold her. It's very possible that someone else is holding our newborn daughter right now. She may be the same age and size as Madeline. And we are missing her early days. I have always known this, but somehow it became gravely real as I gazed upon a newborn baby girl. And I began to weep. Profoundly. I was unable to stop crying for quite some time. It was time to grieve.

As I held my head in my hands, the worship leader began to play one of my favorite songs, "He Knows My Name." This song has greatly impacted me over the years. It was inspired after the song writer spent time in an orphanage in The Philippines. The song writer encountered an orphaned boy who desperately wanted to be known and wrote this song. As I listened to the song, God sweetly whispered truth to my heart. "I know her name. I am caring for her. I love her more than you can imagine. She is going to be ok." They were sweet words spoken aptly to a desperate and grieving mother.

When I was finally able to pick myself up out of my chair, I shared my emotions with my friends. I moved to a chair in the middle of the room, and was instantly surrounded by women who were grieving with me in prayer. Some were weeping. They cried out to God for His protection over our daughter. For financial provision. For His hand of grace to be over the entire adoption process. They interceded in my deep moment of grief when I was unable to speak. The grief and loss were suddenly replaced with peace, hope and anticipation. My sisters reminded me that God is watching over our daughter during our separation. I can not describe the level of support, encouragement and empathy that I felt in the darkness of the room. It was profound. It was deep. And it was real.

I often become emotional when I think of the incredible support that we have received from our church in our adoption journey. I can't imagine what it will be like when we finally carry our baby through the doors of her church. She will have a huge "cloud of witnesses" ready to welcome and embrace her. I'm so grateful that I was able to process my grief in the safety of the retreat. And by God's grace, later that evening I was able to hold baby Madeline (when Kristin needed prayer). As I held her closely in my arms, I whispered in her ear and told her about her new friend in Korea who is coming home soon.

My Crazy Orphan Summit Travel Schedule Parallels Our Adoption...

My trip to Kentucky was one crazy adventure! I have traveled to sixteen countries and without a doubt, this was the most challenging travel schedule in all of my life! Where should I begin...

While in route to Dallas on American Airlines, we were told that the Dallas Fort Worth Airport had been closed due to weather. Our plane was forced to land at a small airport in Abilene, TX. We were grounded for over two hours and the passengers could not get off the plane. The looming storm was haunting and tensions were high. The pilot brought joy to the all of the passengers when he announced that he had ordered Dominos Pizza for everyone! We each enjoyed a slice of pizza and tried to make light of the moment.




I spent a lot of time on my flights journaling, reading my Bible and praying. I also had many opportunities to speak with fellow passengers, and asked God to place me exactly where He wanted me on each flight. I had many "divine appointments" along the journey, which made it all the more interesting! I look forward to following up with some of these relationships and seeing what God will do!

After passing more than two hours on the Abeline Airport tarmac, we were finally told that the Dallas Airport had opened. Our plane ascended back into the air. As we approached Dallas, the pilot announced that the airport had been closed again due to the storm. We hovered over Dallas for quite some time. When we finall prepared to land, tensions were high again. We experienced horrible turbulence and I read Psalm 91 aloud over and over again. It was a great comfort to know that our plane and our lives were not in the hand of the pilot or of the storm, but in the hands of our Mighty God!

All of the passengers were relieved to step into the Dallas Airport, but I quickly learned that all flights to Louisville had been cancelled. Yikes! The Summit started at 7 a.m. the following morning. I was able to get booked onto a flight into Lexington, KY, which was delayed over eight times throughout the course of the evening. Needless to say, I was exhausted when I boarded that plane. When we finally departed (at 1 a.m.) on our tiny commuter plane, I discovered that a few other passengers were headed to The Summit as well. I scrambled, made some calls, and was able to find a hotel room. I ended up renting a car with another Summit attendee (for the outrageous price of $160). We became fast friends and kept ourselves awake at 4 a.m. as we drove along the dark and lonely highway into Louisville.

I checked into my hotel room on the morning of The Summit at 4:30 a.m. The lady behind the hotel desk was very kind, and gave me a discounted rate (since I only needed the room for 5 hours). I was so happy to see Lucy later that morning, but I was exhausted.

On the day of my return home, I had a wonderful nights' sleep. I was amazed by how rested I felt, and then I looked at the clock in disbelief. The hotel staff had forgotten my wake up call, and I had missed my plane. While frustrated, I reminded myself that God was in control, nothing happens in His kingdom "by mistake." The hotel apologized emphatically, gave me a discounted rate and helped to connect me with American Airlines. I was re-booked on a flight six hours later, and went back to my room for some more rest. When I came back down to the lobby later that day, I encountered another "divine appointment" and ran into a friend from the So Cal Orphan Care Network who had attended The Summit. She gave me a ride to the airport and we enjoyed getting to know one another. I also ran into another friend from Orange County on my flights back, and continued to thank God for His hand on every leg of my flight.

My crazy travel schedule was the perfect reflection of our incredibly bumpy and often confusing adoption journey. Yes, our adoption has been filled with many disappointments and a lot of turbulence. However, we have also encountered many "divine appointments" and God has been with us every step of the way. He is fully in control and He will never leave us or forsake us!

Reflections on the Orphan Summit

My experience at The Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit was indescribable. How can I explain the emotions that I felt while gathered with 1500 other believers who are passionately called to impact the orphan crisis? Unreal. Unifying. Refreshing to my soul. Sobering. Confirming.

Highlights??? Hard to pick a few... but I'll give it my best:

"Becoming a Multicultural Family"

This was one of my favorite breakout sessions. It was led by a panel of adult adoptees who were all raised in multiracial families. Two of the panelists were born in South Korea. The room was packed. Emotions were high and there was a peaceful mix of laughter and tears throughout the session (which continued well past the scheduled end time). I deeply appreciated the insights, honesty and vulnerability of the panelists. The two things that I came away with were this:

(1) It is vital that we help our Korean born daughter to explore and connect with her birth country. I am so grateful that we live in a multicultural community where she will have many Asian friends. We will work hard to expose her to Korean food and culture and will hopefully take her to visit Korea one day when she is ready.

(2) The "language of adoption" should be the culture of our family. There should be no shame in adoption, and we should embrace and talk about the beauty of adoption regularly. All three panelists were raised in homes where adoption was never talked about. I'm grateful that our boys are already passionate about adoption, and we will not hide any information from our daughter (based on age appropriateness) regarding her history or birthfamily.

While it was an emotional session, it was also deeply encouraging to hear the laughter, joy and gratefulness of all three panelists. They each talked about how their own adoption journies have painted an awesome picture of God's adoption into His family in their lives. One of the panelists who was born in S. Korea recently adopted two children from S. Korea. We were able to connect after the session. She is a beautiful young woman and I look forward to connecting with her more in the future.

"Raising Children with A Heart for Orphans"

I loved this session. This mom of eight had some wonderful, practical ideas on empowering our children and helping them to be passionate for the nations. I loved learning how her family has a daily "circle time" where they pray for children around the world, read missionary hero stories and even practice public speaking for orphan issues. I came home with a renewed excitement to train our boys to know God deeply, to have big hearts for the world and to desire to serve others. I am so proud of our boys and I love the ways that they selflessly serve and bless others.

"International Adoption: Challenges, Changes and Difficult Questions."


This session was informative, motivating and intense. The three panelists included Kathleen Strottman (Congressional Coalition on Adoption), Chuck Johnson (National Council for Adoption) and Tom Difilipo (Joint Council on Adoption). These panelists addressed the major barriers that influence international adoption today: nationalism, the lack of a common data system for orphans, the need for united US leadership and apathy in the US towards public policy. They challenged us to know our congressmen and women and to become involved in public policy.

The panelists addressed the history of the Hague international adoption laws and how the laws impact adoptions. They also presented specific information on adoption issues in various countries. I appreciated their honesty and willingess to challenge us to action. It warmed my heart to learn that all three panelists are Christians who strongly believe in the universal movement coming out of the Church to care for orphans. I loved their hearts and will be praying for their ongoing leadership and influence over our nation and world. I could have listened to this panel for hours.

That evening I was blessed to have dinner with Tom Difilipo and my close friend Lucy, the founder of All Blessings. I was able to share our painful El Salvador adoption journey with him. I deeply enjoyed his insights on various countries, his perspective on international adoption issues as well as issues in the American Church. I was also encouraged by his sincere affirmation of our adoption agency and the S. Korea program. He felt that our referral would most likely come faster than the time frame estimated by our agency, which was the best news that I heard at The Summit!

Lucy Armistead, Sheila Estep & Jenni - I met Lucy and Sheila on my first trip to El Salvador!

I am so grateful that All Blessings Intl. Adoptions made this trip possible for me! Thank you to Lucy for flying me to KY. I am honored to serve on the staff of All Blessings. I also loved sharing my adoption journey over and over again with the new friends that I made at The Summit and hearing their stories as well. Next year The Summit will be held from May 2-3 at Saddleback Church - just 15 miles down the road! Clearly this will be a much easier travel schedule (my trip to KY was brutal - see post!). Lord willing, if our daughter is home from Korea by that time, I'll be able to bring her to The Summit and introduce her to some of my new friends!

Heading to The Summitt!!!

I can't believe that I leave for The Summit in just two days! Last week I learned that I won a contest through Christian Alliance for Orphans. The contest gave applicants points for posting information about The Summit on their blogs/Facebook and for recruiting to The Summit! I received front row seats and an invitation to a private reception with Christian recording artist, Sara Groves! The concert will be held this Friday night, May 13, at the end of The Summit. I will be bringing Lucy Armistead, my close friend and the founder of All Blessings Intl.! I can't wait!


Award winning songwriter/musician Sara Groves

Here are the break out sessions that I will be attending during The Summit:

Encouragement for Orphan Ministry Leaders
Creative Fundraising for Your Adoption
Adoption Reworked: Orphan Care Through the Rediscovery of Abba Father
Raising Children with a Heart for Orphans
Advocating as a Busy Mom
Creative Advocacy: Training Storytellers that Change the World

I am also excited to be hosting the regional network break out session for California. This will be a great opportunity to meet and network with other conference attendees who live in California!

Stay tuned for more!

Our First Network Gathering...

Last Monday, May 2, Susan Clark and I led our first network gathering for So Cal leaders who serve in adoption or orphan care ministries. We had an incredible gathering with twenty-two people in attendance from Long Beach, Simi Valley, Riverside and Orange County! There were many more who wanted to join us and were unable to be there.

We invited each person to briefly share their personal journey with the group. I literally could have stayed for hours to hear the stories and vision that exuded from each person. Our group included adoption agency representatives, pastors, adoptive families, a family therapist and church leaders who are mobilizing their churches to "care for the least of these." I felt honored to spend time with other leaders who are intensely passionate about needy children in our community as well as the international orphan crisis. Our waitress was deeply impacted by the stories that were shared around the table. She actually interrupted our sharing time to tell us how inspired she was by our gathering. Awesome!

We are currently creating a roster of those who were in attendance. We are also researching an online network system that can help us to communicate with one another. Our goal is to begin meeting every quarter to encourage one another and to share our visions and ideas regarding orphan care, fostering and adoption. I can't wait to see how this network evolves and impacts our communities!