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"God sets the lonely in families" - Psalm 68:6



Monday, November 22, 2010

Why Korea?













Jordan and Aidan were so excited when we sent in our adoption application (Aug, 2007)


Many people have asked us why we picked Korea. It's a great question! When we started our journey (in June, 2007), we felt led to adopt a child from El Salvador for many reasons. Since that time, God has led us on a long and emotional journey which has allowed Jenni to travel and minister in orphanages in El Salvador and Guatemala. Throughout this process, our hearts have become broken for orphaned children all over the world. When we began to face the unending delays in El Salvador this summer, we started to become open to adopting a child from somewhere else in the world.

We began to seek counsel from our adoption agency and from close friends who have adopted. We began looking at the Philippines, Ethiopia, Haiti, China, Korea and local foster/adopt agencies. Over and over again, we were strongly encouraged to consider Korea. After speaking with the AIAA Korea Program Director a number of times, we started to sense that this was the right program for our family. Here are a number of things which attracted us to Korea:

(1) Minimal updates were needed for our home study
(2) We qualified for a girl because we only have boys in our family
(3) Babies are referred to adopting families at the age of 5 months old
(4) Korean babies are cared for in foster homes
(5) The wait time is VERY fast for international adoptions (other programs would have been a 2-3 year wait)
(6) It is very difficult to get accepted into the Korean Adoption Program and our family qualified

As we began to read and study about orphans in Korea, our hearts became more and more broken. Unwed mothers in Korea are culturally shamed. They are often rejected by their families and their children are shamed as well. Last month I read "I Wish For You a Beautiful Life" while travelling to Guatemala. This touching book is a collection of letters written by Korean birth mothers to their children. It gave me a deep insight into the difficult journeys they experience in relinquishing their children. Here is one quote from the book:

"Bearing a child outside of marriage brings shame to the birth mother, her child, and her immediate and extended families. The deep embarrassment that accompanies pregnancy and parenthood outside of wedlock is not just about immoral conduct but about disrupting traditional Confucian family bonds and a male-centered lineage. When a child has no legal father, a fact easily discerned from the all-important family register, both birth mother and child face social discrimination throughout their lives."

After reading this book, I realized that the Korean birth mothers are the true heroes. It is clear that these brave women are making tremendously difficult and painful decisions purely out of love for their children.

Here are two quotes from two different birth moms:

"My baby, you were born after eleven hours of labor, and you were the most adorable princess to me. How I wished to be with you until the end of my life. But I couldn't do that because I didn't want my princess to live with constant rudeness from others. Also, I couldn't provide a good home for you, and I didn't want to transfer my poverty to you. I wanted you to grow up full of love. My sweetheart, I went out today in a gloomy mood. I watched happy women along the streets holding their babies. I envied them and burst into tears from missing you so much."

"I decided that placing you for adoption was better for you than suffering from hunger and poverty with me. I thought you could be happy if you met wonderful parents through adoption. I do not regret my decision. I always pray that you will know God's love and be happy and wise. I pray that you will be spiritually happy, place others' well-being ahead of your own, thank and glorify the Lord, and share your love with your neighbors. Although there is nothing I can give you, I give to you all of my love."

Wow. I have gained a deep sense of awe and respect for these women and my heart aches for them. I continue to ask myself, "Why me? Why has God allowed our family the blessing and privilege of adoption? Why do I get to be this little girl's mommy?" I don't have all of the answers, but I do know that God works all things together for good. His plans are higher than ours and He can redeem even the most heinous of evils. He is a healer and for some reason, He has called our family to love, nurture and pour our lives into one of His precious little ones who will be born in Korea and raised in our hearts and home.

Why Korea? Because God has called us to do something way beyond ourselves. God has led us into a journey that is teaching us about His deep Father's love for each of us. His love is unconditional and never ending. Our family has loved this little girl for three and a half years before knowing her name, birthdate and even her birthplace. It is so strange to wonder if she has been born yet, where she is, who is caring for her... But we know that God's hand is covering her little life and we can't wait to meet her!


Mike's sister Katie and her daughter, AnnaGrace (born in China in 2006)

Amber Booy and her daughter Eleora (born in Ethiopia in 2010)



Building our dossier for El Salvador was a labor of love (Feb, 2008)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

An "Aha Moment" in Waiting and Trusting God




















Last month I had an unforgettable "Aha Moment." Our boys desperately wanted two things: a new puppy and a trip to Disneyland. And guess what? Mike and I knew that they were getting both! They had no idea what was about to happen...

We had just gotten a call about Rocky from a friend. We knew that he was available to "foster/adopt," but we didn't want to tell the kids until we confirmed with our landlord. We also knew that our close friends, the Justines, were coming that week and we had saved enough money to go to Disneyland with their family. The boys had no idea that THEIR DREAMS WERE ABOUT TO COME TRUE! They would get a new puppy and go to Disneyland in the same week!

Aidan was the "star of the week" in his class that week. His teacher let me come to hear his presentation about his life, talents, dreams and passions. As I sat in the chair and listened to Aidan, I was so proud of him. He is an amazing young man who proudly shared about his baptism this summer and his faith with his class. Then he told his class about losing Toby, and how desperately he wanted a new dog. I WAS ABOUT TO BURST! I knew that we were probably getting a dog (2 days later), but I couldn't tell him yet. I also knew we were going to Disneyland 4 days later. I wanted to tell Aidan all of the amazing plans we had for him, but it wasn't the right time yet.

Suddenly it hit me. My "Aha Moment." God must feel this way about us. He looks down on His children with amazing plans that are way beyond our imagination. He whispers into our ears, "My child. Wait. Trust. I have an incredible plan that I am perfecting in this very moment." Yet we kick, cry and scream. "Why aren't things working out the way I want them to? Why is this taking so long? Why do things seem so unfair?" The truth is that HE HAS IT ALL FIGURED OUT. And His timing is perfect. That's right, perfect. Absolutely perfect.

God has had an amazing adoption plan for our family since the beginning of time. He knew it would be Korea, we thought it was El Salvador. He knew it would be in 2011, we thought it would be 2009. He knew that He would open doors for me to travel to El Salvador and Guatemala this past year. He was calling me to work with All Blessings Intl. but we had never even heard of them. God allowed me to meet Carmen Elena in Washington DC (while meeting with America World). Carmen is the contact who made our "divine appointment" with the Procuradora (Attorney General) of El Salvador. Our contacts in El Salvador needed to fall through so that we could connect with Lucy Armistead (the Founder of All Blessings Intl.) and Lucy escorted us to the Procuradora's office. Lucy just "happened" to be in El Salvador when we needed help. And she just "happened" to need a new staff member with a background in missions.

God allowed all of these painful situations to bring us into relationship with Lucy and All Blessings. And He allowed our pain of waiting for a child to cause a deep burden and passion in our hearts for orphans. It has all been for a purpose.

God is so good. We simply need to wait and trust. Easier said than done for us mortals, but I hope to never forget this incredible "Aha moment."

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him! " - Matthew 6:9-11

Thursday, November 4, 2010

KOREA!!!




We have been officially accepted into the AIAA (Americans for International Aid and Adoption) Korea Program! We are thrilled beyond belief and hope to bring our little girl home in 2011! We are currently updating our home study and hope that paperwork will arrive in Korea by December, 2010. Stay tuned for more details!

The Vision

God spoke this vision regarding our adoption journey to Barbara Lange on March 26, 2010...

"Jenni,


I have made the decision to speak our boldly when God speaks to me. Last night as I was washing the dishes I received this "vision" of you. I hesitate to use the word "vision," but what I saw was a slide of your life. As I watched the show in my mind I began to cry because I was so touched by what I saw. You and I have shared many tears these last couple of years, both sorrow and joy. The attachment is what I saw.

FRAME 1

Jenni sitting at the South Coast Community Church reception desk with the photo album of her courtship and engagement to Mike.

FRAME 2

Jenni performing the gospel message in mime at New Harvest Community Church, showing her heart for the lost and oppressed. Jenni performing the gospel in mime on missions trips everywhere she is able to go. Her Father rejoicing at her obedience and passion.

FRAME 3

The anguished look of a woman desperately wanting to have children. Unsuccessful fertility treatements.

FRAME 4

God watching over His daughter, His heart breaking as tears flow down her cheeks. He whispers in her ear, "My child, I know how broken you feel, but I have a great plan and purpose for your life. This anguish, this heartbreak, this pain will subside. Joy is on its' way. I needed you to suffer in this way because of My plan is for you. You are going to be an advocate for international adoptions. You are going to spread my gospel this way.

FRAME 5

The births of Jordan and Aidan! At last a MOM!

FRAME 6

Having experienced the heartbreak of infertility, Jenni's passion for adoption grows.


FRAME 7

Jenni's passion for missions and adoption begin to fuse.


FRAME 8

The Ramseys start the adoption process for a daughter.

FRAME 9

Jenni goes to Washington DC and connects with adoption leaders. Relationships follow, teamwork begins. Jenni begins a new chapter in her life in the intl. adoption network.

FRAME 10

The slow adoption process is agonizing to the Ramseys.

FRAME 11

Jenni leads a missions team to El Salvador and learns sad news about El Salvador adoptions and specifically their own plans. Heartbroken again, but resolved to press on.

FRAME 12

More networking with intl. adoptions, hope for their daughter and another trip to El Salvador. Jordan goes to El Salvador. The orphans are overwhelmed and ecstatic that Jenni returns. Jenni and Jordan build "forever friendships and family" in El Salvador. Jenni's passion increases.

FRAME 13

Jenni prepares for third trip to El Salvador in one year. Amazing things happen.

FRAME 14 - THE FINAL FRAME...

Mike and Jenni, standing now, older, graying hair, surrounded by their sons and their wives, their daughters and their husbands and their grandchildren. Below them are thousands of children joyously celebrating Jenni's life. Her passion to follow her Father's call and purpose on her life is fulfilled. These thousands of children represent all of the orphans, adoptions and ripple affect of her life's work.

A work that could not be accomplished without the pain, suffering and brokeness she endured trying to become a mom.


Well done, my good and faithful servant."

A Heartwarming Adoption Story.... the Howerton's Miraculous Haitian Adoption Journey

God's Heart for Orphans...

An Incredible Video...

"Cry of The Orphan" - Thoughts on orphan care from some of my greatest heroes!