We had a wonderful Christmas holiday with our family this year. There was so much to celebrate and so much to be grateful for. We celebrated Jesus' birthday with a birthday cake, as we do every year (and cake for breakfast is always fun!).
We have not purchased many items for our daughter during the waiting process, but decided to buy her Christmas stocking this year. It was so exciting to open the package from the mail and see our baby girl's first stocking! The print matches our boys' stockings, and we can't wait to embroider her name and make it "official!" My mind was filled with unending thoughts over the holidays about our little girl... "Is she born yet?" "Will she be here next Christmas?" "What will Christmas be like with a baby again?" I was filled with hope and anticipation!
However, in early January we received very disappointing news from our adoption agency. We were told that Korea had announced increased wait times for referrals as well as increased adoption fees. We were also told that we are now on a "waiting list" of families (for home studies to be sent to Korea). Obviously this news was devastating and heartbreaking, especially after 3 1/2 years of delays in El Salvador. We were hoping to bring our little girl home this summer!
We cried out to God, confused and frustated. And God was so faithful to encourage our hearts. We received encouragement over and over again through His Word, through the wisdom of friends and through the blessing of our boys' nightly prayers for their sister. We were reminded that God is in control and that He has had our adoption plan in His hands since Creation.
I was reminded of a verse that my friend Misty gave me three years ago (to encourage us in our adoption journey)...
"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day!" - Habakkuk 2:3Indeed the news was hearbreaking, but we are still filled with hope and anticipation. So for now, the stocking sits and waits in storage. Only God knows if it will be filled with goodies for our daughter in 2011. We continue to wait and trust in His perfect and beautiful timing...
The Vision
God spoke this vision regarding our adoption journey to Barbara Lange on March 26, 2010...
"Jenni,
I have made the decision to speak our boldly when God speaks to me. Last night as I was washing the dishes I received this "vision" of you. I hesitate to use the word "vision," but what I saw was a slide of your life. As I watched the show in my mind I began to cry because I was so touched by what I saw. You and I have shared many tears these last couple of years, both sorrow and joy. The attachment is what I saw.
FRAME 1
Jenni sitting at the South Coast Community Church reception desk with the photo album of her courtship and engagement to Mike.
FRAME 2
Jenni performing the gospel message in mime at New Harvest Community Church, showing her heart for the lost and oppressed. Jenni performing the gospel in mime on missions trips everywhere she is able to go. Her Father rejoicing at her obedience and passion.
FRAME 3
The anguished look of a woman desperately wanting to have children. Unsuccessful fertility treatements.
FRAME 4
God watching over His daughter, His heart breaking as tears flow down her cheeks. He whispers in her ear, "My child, I know how broken you feel, but I have a great plan and purpose for your life. This anguish, this heartbreak, this pain will subside. Joy is on its' way. I needed you to suffer in this way because of My plan is for you. You are going to be an advocate for international adoptions. You are going to spread my gospel this way.
FRAME 5
The births of Jordan and Aidan! At last a MOM!
FRAME 6
Having experienced the heartbreak of infertility, Jenni's passion for adoption grows.
FRAME 7
Jenni's passion for missions and adoption begin to fuse.
FRAME 8
The Ramseys start the adoption process for a daughter.
FRAME 9
Jenni goes to Washington DC and connects with adoption leaders. Relationships follow, teamwork begins. Jenni begins a new chapter in her life in the intl. adoption network.
FRAME 10
The slow adoption process is agonizing to the Ramseys.
FRAME 11
Jenni leads a missions team to El Salvador and learns sad news about El Salvador adoptions and specifically their own plans. Heartbroken again, but resolved to press on.
FRAME 12
More networking with intl. adoptions, hope for their daughter and another trip to El Salvador. Jordan goes to El Salvador. The orphans are overwhelmed and ecstatic that Jenni returns. Jenni and Jordan build "forever friendships and family" in El Salvador. Jenni's passion increases.
FRAME 13
Jenni prepares for third trip to El Salvador in one year. Amazing things happen.
FRAME 14 - THE FINAL FRAME...
Mike and Jenni, standing now, older, graying hair, surrounded by their sons and their wives, their daughters and their husbands and their grandchildren. Below them are thousands of children joyously celebrating Jenni's life. Her passion to follow her Father's call and purpose on her life is fulfilled. These thousands of children represent all of the orphans, adoptions and ripple affect of her life's work.
A work that could not be accomplished without the pain, suffering and brokeness she endured trying to become a mom.
Well done, my good and faithful servant."
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ReplyDeleteThat is heartbreaking. We understand how very hard it is to have an expectation of having your daughter at a certain time and then having to wait for what seems like an eternity. We will be praying that somehow your process will move faster than expected and that you can have your little girl by next Christmas.
ReplyDeleteSandy