Attachment Struggles: First Sleepover at Grandma's

Last night we took Hailey on her first sleepover to Grandma's house, just a few miles down the road.  Mike is out of town for work, so the boys and I loaded up the suitcases filled with diapers, bottles, toys, pj's (it felt like we were leaving for a week), and of course, Rocky (our dog).  Hailey hasn't spent a lot of time at Grandma's house, and this was the perfect opportunity to allow her to become more comfortable at Grandma's.  Unfortunately, it was harder than I expected.  But there's a first for everything!

Although Hailey loves her grandma and brothers (and dog!), she was very clingy.  She cried if I wasn't holding her, and that made it nearly impossible for me to unpack suitcases, settle in and even go to the bathroom!  Being in my mom's two story house made me realize what a blessing it is to live in a single story home with wood floors.  When I'm not holding Hailey or playing with her at home, I put her in the stroller with her toys.  She's happy to be "strolled" around from room to room when I move about the house, clean the dishes, get dressed, etc.  Since Hailey isn't walking yet and won't crawl or stay alone anywhere in the house without me, her stroller has become a place of safety and comfort.  She's just starting to walk, stay tuned for the "She's walking!" post!  Needless to say, carrying Hailey (and the stroller) up and down at my mom's house was exhausting.

In preparation for the sleepover, my mom bought a booster seat.   The boys were very helpful and set the seat up before dinner (their super handy dad would have been proud!).  Unfortunately, Hailey wanted nothing to do with it!  She threw a huge temper tantrum and only wanted to be held while eating.  After a quick bath, she was asleep by 5:30 pm (Daylight Savings time has thrown her off)!  And we were tired!  However, after a good night of sleep, she sat in the new seat for breakfast (and loved eating scrambled eggs for the first time).  She did seem a bit more comfortable today, although packing up was challenging since she had no desire to explore Grandma's house without my undivided attention.

Many people have asked us about Hailey's adjustment and transition, and I thought this experience would provide a window into some of the attachment challenges that we have faced.  Since Hailey was cared for in two foster homes and also spent time in the hospital and adoption agency baby home during her first year of life, she has much greater needs for attachment, touch and personal attention than most seventeen month old babies.  The good news is that she has attached to me quickly, but new situations like my mom's home can present some unique challenges.

I'm happy to be back at home tonight, where life is easier and more comfortable for Hailey, but we look forward to another sleepover at Grandma's soon.

While Hailey was sleeping last night, the boys got to watch a movie and devoured Grandma's delicious brownies.  Yum!

My mom and I enjoyed a little bit of pampering (attempting to decimate our wrinkles) while the boys watched their  movie.

Thanks Mom for having us over!  We'll be back!